Did you guys get your checks yet? I’m pretty sure I’m never going to get mine. They say it has something to do with my never having worked in America, but I think that’s just an excuse.
While Walt’s idea of the value of U.S. currency may be skewed, there have been several other, crazier suggestions for the $600 that all working Americans are promised:
-The Sankara Stones
-An astronaut’s bones
- A full suit of armor
- Several dozen palettes of Crystal Pepsi
- An authentic samurai sword
- A mega-buster
- Several robots with common item names, all ending in “man”
- A robotic dog named Rush
Strangely enough, at least two of those items are obtainable in some fashion. I’m not going to name them, of course, lest one of you enterprising readers actually purchase one of them. However, I would like to invite you to list the items you’d buy with your stimulus check. In fact, let’s make this a contest: List items that are actually obtainable with six hundred American dollars. The most inventive list will win an authentic Ominous Knife prize! (For legal purposes, “nothing” constitutes as an Ominous Knife prize). Be a winner today!