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July 1st, 2008

The Monkey was a Rental

Did you guys get your checks yet? I’m pretty sure I’m never going to get mine. They say it has something to do with my never having worked in America, but I think that’s just an excuse.

While Walt’s idea of the value of U.S. currency may be skewed, there have been several other, crazier suggestions for the $600 that all working Americans are promised:

Victor’s List:
-A leprechaun
-The Sankara Stones
-Bismarck, ND
-An astronaut’s bones

Calvin’s List
- A full suit of armor
- Several dozen palettes of Crystal Pepsi
- An authentic samurai sword

Mick’s List
- A mega-buster
- Several robots with common item names, all ending in “man”
- A robotic dog named Rush

Strangely enough, at least two of those items are obtainable in some fashion. I’m not going to name them, of course, lest one of you enterprising readers actually purchase one of them. However, I would like to invite you to list the items you’d buy with your stimulus check. In fact, let’s make this a contest: List items that are actually obtainable with six hundred American dollars. The most inventive list will win an authentic Ominous Knife prize! (For legal purposes, “nothing” constitutes as an Ominous Knife prize). Be a winner today!

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11 Responses to “The Monkey was a Rental”

  1. Jurei Says:

    I got mine, but it was only $455. what’s up with that?! by the way, what is walt holding in his hand in the first panel? is that skittles in a wine glass b/c i wish i thought of that!

  2. me Says:

    much to my dismay, i got mine prior to disney…. which means i never really SAW the money… so sad.

  3. me Says:

    also, you realize that you are only entitled to 600 if you’re married?… we single folk, only get 300….

  4. okkevin Says:

    Actually single individuals can get up to $600 in certain situations, married couples get $1200

  5. Ben Says:

    Yes I can confirm that married couples can get up to $1200. Although to comment on Jurei, it seems students end up getting less, but it all depends on your income.

    I also got mine right before Disney, but that was a good thing as otherwise I might have died of starvation down there. We pretty much starved ourselves as it was.

  6. Burt Says:

    New favorite.

  7. Becci Says:

    i feel jipped.

  8. Chris G. Says:

    Surprisingly, none of you mentioned the fez on the baboon.
    Also, I wasn’t kidding about sending in those lists.

  9. Kick Ass Ronto Says:

    Oil. Sweet home heating oil. Stolen from starving Middle Eastern children. Thats what I bought with my money.

  10. Shawn Says:

    I´m in an airport in Cusco right now, heading home. From the prices at the bookstore, I think 600 american will just about cover a novel by Donald Trump on the perks of being rich. And maybe a bookmark.

    You two better make time for Shawn in the near future, because I´m coming.

  11. Carlisle Says:

    The Slushy made this joke for me.

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