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July 8th, 2008

Eating the Future

We live in fascinating times. One interesting thing about today’s comic is that while it’s not exactly ripped from the headlines, it is somewhat factual. Human beings can derive anything from, well, pretty much anything. We ingest mold to cure headaches. We put toxins into our faces to reverse the horrors of natural aging. And don’t get me started on where we get dyes from.

But I digress. There are several cures to human ailments that are tucked away in common items. For example:

- If found in large enough quantities, Kryptonite can cure Lupus
- Burning a distant relative’s house relieves most symptoms of lactose intolerance
- Sacrificing a live goat has been scientifically proven to ensure a good harvest
- Biting into acclaimed filmmaker George Lucas can actually make a person immortal
- Eating an old-timey film reel will cause a random baby to glow in the dark

Even I think a few of those are ridiculous, but there’s no arguing with facts. I punched a wild boar and automatcially received a week’s supply of niacin. That’s the kind of result you can take to the bank. The money bank.

- Chris

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5 Responses to “Eating the Future”

  1. D.J. Says:

    So what would happen if I fulfilled my life dream of, instead of just biting George Lucas, I met him in a dark alley, thanked him for the mircale of star wars and then beat him to a sensless pulp for tarnishing it??? I mean, in the beating process I’ll definetly bite him and get the immortality, but what else shall come to me?

  2. me Says:

    the headlines on the side actually made be giggle, outloud…. im so ashamed.

  3. Burt Says:

    Can you do an alternate version of this strip, where iced cream leads to the I am Legend virus?

  4. Kick Ass Ronto Says:

    Please tell me that that is bacon in Calvin’s ice cream!!! If it is that could be the cure for depression……………its genius

  5. okkevin Says:

    It is indeed bacon. If you head over to threepanelsoul.com, they actually have a strip about and a recipe for bacon icecream.
    Here is the recipe: http://www.whirled.com/#whirleds-t_1411

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