I Died and Went to Ozark Heaven
July 17th, 2008A few nights ago I had a dream that I went to an amusement park. It stood in the middle of the wilderness and was a bustling place, despite being so buried so deep in mountains that not even locals knew its exact location.
At the gates of this hidden escape was a vanguard of large animals, all crafted from ancient oak. Their sylvan voices greeted me in a tongue that I can only describe as a close approximation of the music of Hell.
Beyond the guards was a veritable oasis of entertainment of every sort. Nostalgia washed over me as I recalled the names of some of the rides. There were teacups, carousels, log flumes, more powerful teacups, and some other spinning contraption that I dare not speak into existence. All these things and more operated in the shadow of two colossi, crafted of fire and air in the fashion of the legendary Djinn.
At first I had no idea what the giants were doing there; it soon became clear that I was to slay these mammoths. Well, I did no slaying, but rather was flung through the air like a rag doll tethered to a toy car. The eldest of these beasts, named Phoenix, crushed not only my body but my will to live. The younger destroyed every instance of my being. I could feel the memory of my presence fading from the minds of everyone I’d ever met.
The first skirmish was bad enough. I fared even worse in the next five battles.
After burning my soul, the colossi granted me access to a feast that defied imagination. I partook of delicacies that do not exist in this mortal world, and dined with all sorts of mythical creatures. I drank with an elf, a sprite, and a fairy. I think there was a centaur in there somewhere, too.
After the days of feasting my acquaintences and I enjoyed the rides. Each one was more extraordinary than the last, though all the time I had the suspicion that each ride was designed specifically to make me vomit, or simulate the experience of soiling myself. There was one ride in which I became captain of a small nautical vessel, and promptly broke it into a thousand pieces. Soon thereafter I was given command of a heavily armed dreadnaught-class battleship. I fared much better with that vessel.
By the end of the dream, I had taken in so much that I could barely move. I summoned a glass of ambrosia and sat near the entrance for a moment before two bards started playing two different tunes mere feet apart. The result was an unearthly sound that cannot be accurately conveyed. It sounded like a world getting torn asunder, if the world was made of feuding cats.
I awoke from the dream in a daze, with the sound of the amusement park still ringing in my ears. As I went to shut off my alarm, I silently regretted the fact that dreams like that only come along once a year.
- Chris
