The Truth…
…Is that something seriously doesn’t make sense.
Let’s examine this situation: the monsters in my Internet prevent an email transmission of a predetermined dialogue. Somehow this prevents Kevin from drawing something, and he instead puts up a stick figure robot waving the French flag or something. This of course proves the age-old expression: “If you want to be an artist, you have to wait for someone to write something down.”
This little dilemma is compounded by White Ike Turner’s desire to create punishment posts and leave them up even after the original post is logged and published. My theory is that goblins ate his homework too, but he lucked out when I couldn’t send mine. So, in the interest of fairness and justice, I’d like to present to you Kevin’s punishment post:
Top Ten Ways to Tell that Kevin Leads an “Alternative Lifestyle”
10. He owns a shirt that cleverly has a picture of an eye next to a picture of a heart. Next to that is a picture of a cowboy with Scott Baio’s face.
9. He’s the webmaster of a Designing Women fansite and a Delta Burke fanfiction site.
8. He’s already signed up for FairyCon and wanted Ominous Knife to do a panel there.
7. He enjoys Rachel Ray.
6. When given a choice between football and baseball, Kevin chooses “unicorns”.
5. When given a choice between Iron Man and the Hulk, Kevin chooses “unicorns”.
4. Kevin actually knows the names of the My Little Pony dolls by heart. Yeah, that’s right. He didn’t have to look those up.
3. He wanted to change his name to “Cecil”, but decided against it because the name was too masculine.
2. Kevin’s original title for Ominous Knife was “Why Can’t Guys Wear Dresses?”
1. Kevin is actually Barbara Walters.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:15 am
Our government makes me angry and my head hurt… and after all of this crap they put us through thinking the government is just going to throw 700,000,000,000 dollars they decided not to go for it.
September 30th, 2008 at 5:35 am
im glad you plan to have wheels kevin.
September 30th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Ya Damn Right.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Ronto,
Aren’t you British? And if so, how is your economy across the pond?
September 30th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
No one can buy the boots for the bootstraps to pull up on when no one can lend the boot company money because stupid Freddie Mac or whoever has the mortgage for the stupid boot warehouse. As for me, I could use new boots; I get wet feet every day.
September 30th, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Happy Birthday Kevin.
October 1st, 2008 at 8:58 am
wise men are speaking listen when the ominous ones talk we should all listen
October 1st, 2008 at 2:06 pm
You know how I know things are confused in Washington?
A republican president vehemently pushes a government bailout of the economy to Congress to pass as quickly as possible. 60% of Democrats in the House support said Republican president’s bill, while Republican’s in the House shoot it down. Then, a Democratically controlled Senate creates a BIPARTISAN version of the bill that includes middle class tax cuts, gains big support, and might be enough to push through the House as well. Does anybody else see all of the ridiculous out of the ordinary crossing of party lines going on here? That’s how I know the world is truly coming to an end.
October 2nd, 2008 at 6:20 pm
[...] This is a rebuttal to Chris’s post: The Truth [...]
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:30 am
Oh my LORD this is freaking hilarious. Nothing makes me happier in my life then listening to you two berate each other.
OH yeah, and I enjoy Rachel Ray!
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:49 am
NO! I’M BARBRA WALTERS!…………………………………………………………………Tee hee hee.
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:59 pm
the world is flat, hot and way to crowded and now we’re 700 hundred kazillion dollars in debt.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:26 pm
no, I’M BAW BAW WALTERS…