Ominous Questions All Up In Here!
October 25th, 2008How’s it going folks? We’re here with a shockingly punctual post. Just kidding! Even with a month’s worth of preparation we take our sweet time. Anyways, the Phillies are in the world series, which makes this week’s question all the more appropriate. Also, it’s pretty amazing that a team comprised of adolescent female horses can not only play baseball, but win against anti-American hippies. Anyways, on to the question!
Dear Ominous Questions,
Ok, I’m currently down by 11.5 points in my fantasy football matchup this week and I would like the cast’s advice on who to play in tonight’s game. Darren Sproles or Vincent Jackson??? I’m really stuck! Help me Ominousknife!!!
-San Diego Dilemma in Arkadelphia, AR
Victor: Wait, there’s such a thing as fantasy football? You mean, I can finally live out my dream of pitting a field of orcs against Iron Man?
Mick: I don’t think that’s what fantasy football means–
Victor: Sure it is. You pick something from fantasy, and then the football gods create unto you a battlefield, filled with things like unicorns and robots and maybe even vampires. Dude, I’m totally getting into this.
Mick: Maybe we should focus on the question…
Calvin: Oh yeah, that. Well, when in doubt I always apply my motto: “trout”. It’s never failed me. I hope it helps you out.
Mick: Dude, the guy’s asking for help picking a fantasy robot to attack the other team’s goalpost! Look, I’m not too sure who Darren Sproles or Vincent Jackson are, but I know one thing: The cooler the name, the better the ability. It’s kind of like how The Magic of Scheherazade is vastly superior to The Legend of Zelda. It’s all in the name.
Walt: The problem is, the one dude has a cool first name and the other has a cool last name. If only there were a way to combine them…
Calvin: That’s it! Mister Dilemma in Arkadelphakename, the Ominous Knife crew unanimously votes that you bet on Vincent Sproles. Or, you know, a Jedi, if that’s possible.
There you have it! Come on back next week for more forced ignorance!
October 26th, 2008 at 11:34 am
That fantasy football game exists, i know u can play as dwarves with axes and there are also some other characters it was a arcade game.