Here we are at the end of Thedar’s amazing “get into school without getting arrested” adventure, and I must say that I think the boys are better for it. I really believe that at least Walt learned how to love because of this. Or maybe he’s just found a kindred spirit in a kid who wants to set things on fire. I really, really don’t know how to interpret that.
In other news…
So, the boys live a stone’s throw away from Philadelphia, a city known for two things: a murder rate rivaled in frequency only by word-a-day calendars, and insane fandom. I, being a Philadelphia resident, would feel remiss if I did not acknowledge what happened in my city on the night of October 29, 2008:
- The Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series, which is an ironic name considering the fact that the “World” in the World Series only means “North America”.
- The streets of Philadelphia flooded with bodies too large to support their own masses, thus causing a flux in gravitational pull in the immediate area. This gray hole caused a mass crushing of multiple cars.
- A bunch of loonies confused the word “victory” with the word “riot” and kicked a streetlight onto another human being.
Look, we’ve been over this before, but seriously: these are actions taken by sports fans. I ask you: have you ever seen a chess fan hurl a bucket of glass onto a passerby after a win? Have you ever witnessed a Mancala afficionado flip over a car? Of course you haven’t, because those people have electrical impulses in their minds that prevent their brains from going stupid. Apparently, however, sports fans have the ability to shut off those impulses, and they use this ability to go crazy in the middle of the city for which they just cheered. That’s like this website becoming famous, and then us going to each fan’s house and punching them in the face. Not that we’d ever do that, of course; the most we’d do is bring you guys a steaming hot peach cobbler pie. Or maybe Key Lime. It’s up to you!