A Day in the Life: Warren
Happy Thanksgiving to all of our American readers! Happy normal, non-eventful Last Thursday to everyone else!
If there’s one problem with only having one day in which to recount current events, it’s that I don’t get to reference things as they happen; rather, I have to wait until it’s my time to speak, which is great when I have nothing to say, but really tough when there’s a holiday between me and, well, me. So here’s a quick synopsis of what went down during the most awesome holiday that celebrates the genocide of indigenous peoples:
Wednesday Evening - Watched most of the first season of Heroes. Upon finishing the season, I pondered which portion of the show would play the biggest part in Marvel’s lawsuit against NBC. I settled on the “blatant ripoff of X-Men” part.
Thursday - Ate so much food I became delirious. Spent the majority of the evening trying to will my telekinetic powers to bring me a slice of Key Lime pie. Kevin ate so much that he actually farted a spiral ham.
Friday - Went to an art show that was pretty awesome. Bought the exact same picture three times over because I’m dumb. It was an AWESOME picture, though.
Saturday & Sunday - Mostly a blur. Kevin and I played Risk: Godstorm, a game which seems intent on outing closet nerds. The mechanics of the game are nearly indecipherable if one has not had previous experience in card battle games, role-playing games, ancient religions, or dracontology. Okay, that last one might not be true. The other ones, however, are spot-on. It’s not just about killing foreigners, either. The actual gist of the game involves summoning your heathen gods to assist in your assault against those who worship the other, wrong heathen gods.
The game also involves battling in both reality and the underworld, and there are separate underworlds for each group, depending on its religion. This isn’t a joke; it’s actually a play mechanic. You find yourself wanting to die on the earthly map so that you can launch a huge campaign in what is essentially purgatory, and while this works on a fundamental gaming level it must wreak havoc on the poor soldiers’ psyche. Imagine spending your entire life fighting people for no reason, only to die and go to an afterlife in which you have to fight people for no reason.
Well, that’s what you get for worshipping the wrong gods, suckers!
- Chris
December 2nd, 2008 at 1:04 am
Warren works in Philly?
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:16 am
Good eye!
December 2nd, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Dude, when am I invited to this Risk: Godstorm party? Also, when did this comic become Dilbert?
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:05 am
I would have liked the magazine to say: Jets! Now modified to be fueled by children! And I’m sure if you had the space that’s what it would have said.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:45 am
When the work force gets sick it raises overall expenses and money loss because of a decrease in productivity and because the health company often requires a little more from the employeer if the employee gets sick often.
So he would want them to be sick because he doesn’t like them.