You know, one could argue that the over-commercialization of the holidays is partly Frosty’s fault. Maybe his woman wouldn’t have left him if he’d spent more time celebrating the Reason for the Season and less time pushing his TV specials and merchandise. She was probably mad that he didn’t get her that Cartier watch she wanted. Yeah, that’s right Frosty. You reap what you sow.

Anyways, getting stuff is awesome. I like to see beloved mascots out there forcing friends and relatives to spend money on each other in the vain hope that everyone will forget how little they enjoy each other’s company. There’s always a frontrunner, though: the one mascot who sells more, or is bought more, or kills more than any other. For that reason, and so that I can get some endorsements for Ominous Knife, I’m going to go ahead and say that Toucan Sam will be this year’s hot mascot. It’s gonna be a Froot Loopy Christmas, kids! Be sure to buy all sixteen supporting character plush dolls, including Burny Steve the Wild Boar and Leaky Joe the Water Moccasin! Remember: your parents don’t love you unless they buy you things!

Now, to sit back and watch as riots ensue in the breakfast cereal isle…

- Chris

Tags: Cartier, Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, mascots, Toucan Sam

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 16th, 2008 at 12:04 am and is filed under Comics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.