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Ominous Knife » Archive » “Black Magic” Would be a Great Band Name
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January 13th, 2009

“Black Magic” Would be a Great Band Name

The funniest thing about this comic is that it’s rooted firmly in reality. Granted, it’s the reality in which everyone loves anime and Alex Mack is my girlfriend, but subjective reality is reality nonetheless.

Actually, I was going to lobby for today’s comic to be about all the boys’ nicknames, but they’re definitely each deserving of their own strip. At the very least they deserve a list:

- Victor’s nickname is “Cinnamon Buns”. It should be noted that he doesn’t eat pastries (he considers soft to be “the Devil’s texture”).

- Warren was known as Mayor McCheese for nearly a year due to a misunderstanding of slang terms.

- Everyone calls Walt “Battery” when he’s not around. Take a guess why (Hint: it’s because he beats people).

- Mick insists that we call him Asclepius because of the whole “healing people” thing. Most people eliminate a couple of the syllables in that one.

- Thedar is known as “Firestarter” around the apartment. No points for guessing what that means.

- Usually I call Kevin the “Spirit of St. Louis”, mostly because half the time I don’t understand what he means.

- As for me…well, indulge me…

At my high school we had four “colors” used to represent the school at all times. These colors were white and gray (old folk’s colors), and gold (yellow) and purple. My school’s theme song was called “The Purple and Gold”, an allusion to the ridiculously gaudy colors our school chose to adopt. Of course, you have to understand that my school was founded by people who assumed gray and white to be too Communist; so essentially, unless you were a junior or senior you were expected to show your school spirit — “spirit” here being defined as “the reason that people beat you up”.

Well, being the dapper man that I am, I decided to wear purple. You know, the royal color. The color of kings.

The color of Grimace, beloved Sesame Street icon.

Yeah, for about three years I was known as “Grimace”, and not just because I walked around with a scowl on my face. That was my nickname, among several others that may be too raunchy to mention here. So unless you were forced to wear a purple sweater for two years, you should pay less attention to nicknames and more attention to…

Aw, man. I forgot my point.

- Chris

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13 Responses to ““Black Magic” Would be a Great Band Name”

  1. okkevin Says:

    Grimace is from McDonaldland, not Sesame Street.

    I think you confused him with Oscar. Which is funny because those names sound completely different and one is a short angry green guy and the other is a big jolly purple guy. I think you mixed it up with the “Grouch” part but even then you should have remembered that there was nobody named “Grouch”

  2. okkevin Says:

    Also, sorry for the small third panel, I had bigger plans and then just sort of went another direction and forgot to re-size it.

  3. Chris G. Says:

    Or — and this might be a completely new concept — I’m just not as familiar with Jim Henson minutiae as some folk. I know, it’s crazy to think of a man who can’t distinguuish between a big purple dude and a big green dude, but, what can I say: some people just DON’T CARE. “Some people”, here, refers to ME.

  4. Chris G. Says:

    By the way, I think the third panel is great, especially the “soda enemy” part. That’s going on a shirt.

  5. Burt Says:

    I liked this one a lot. I picture Calvin saying “Ra bwa bwa baaaa” in the last panel.

  6. The Fighting Lexicographer Says:

    When I was young, I found myself strangely attracted to Alex Mack too. That was until I realized that she was just a dumbed down version of Daredevil, only with the ability to turn into a pool of liquid a la T-1000 (with none of the stabbing capability) instead of radar vision and a lack of fear. At one point, they started adding to her powers as she got older, which every comic book fan knows is a cheap trick used to make a dying franchise die more slowly. If 3D Man suddenly had the ability to shoot flaming mind bullets from the tips of his fingers when enraged, he would still be excessively lame.

  7. okkevin Says:

    Itss not Jim Henson minutia, it’s the difference between a big purple full-body puppet commercial entity designed to sell milkshakes and a small, two person muppet designed to get kids to understand homeless people.

  8. Adam Says:

    I thought you were “butterscotch.”

  9. Kick Ass Ronto Says:

    It seems as though the Characters from McDonaldland have been on your mind. I wonder why…..

  10. Notonfire Says:

    Gobs never said Grimace was the Grouch, he just called him sesame street. He may have avoided learning about the grimace due to social abuse in school. He may have even blocked it out entirely. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.

  11. okkevin Says:

    I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, and by benefit of the doubt I mean my fist in your face.

  12. Kick Ass Ronto Says:

    Yeah baby! Now we are talking! Kick Ass Ronto style justice! Grip it and rip it brother!

  13. benxpx Says:

    Where has Gobs been hiding? I want to find him…and EAT HIM.

    Actually I’d pay for a Eat or Die shirt, I think thats awesome.

    Soda Enemy would be a good shirt, but maybe a better band.

    Plus, I’m pretty sure you watched Christmas on Sesame Street this year…do you remember a giant purple monster?

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