Walt 2, Victor 0
There are a lot of ways to reach children. Many are fairly illegal, but it’s really the thought that counts. For instance, if you don’t mind horrible hours and an even worse salary you can become a teacher, but if you actually like your life you can always try your hand at teaching in Utah. It’s like real teaching, only without all the math and common sense.
There’s also my personal favorite, child labor camps. These are like summer camps for kids, only replace the word “summer” with “forced labor for sixteen hours a day”. In the end labor camps actually work out a bit better than their legal equivalent because you get designer shoes, whereas the best thing summer camp kids can whip up is a charm bracelet.
If those aren’t up your alley, you can always reach kids the old-fashioned way: kidnapping. It’s only difficult for, like, fifteen minutes. The rest of the time you get to punish a kid who probably has it coming, and if you’re really good at it you also get a ton of cash. It’s like winning the lottery for abusing a kid, and considering the fact that I’ve been doing it for free since 2005 I feel like that might be my next career move. How’s that for establishing goals, Dr. Phil?
- Chris
February 24th, 2009 at 11:22 am
this is probably the most morally reprehensible post i have ever read in my entire life.
February 24th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
This is a new low for commentary for someone with as much exposure to those that actually do help those under eighteen as u have i would hope that you could make a contribution to society, show some sense of cultural and societal responsibility and possibly list some truly constructive ways in which one may help children and youth, but alas u choose the low road, trying to get a quick laugh hoping that your audience would not notice the lack of meaningful content to the post but rather a cheap attempt at “humor”. in comparison to the post the art work and lettering in the comic is amazing and through its satire raises awareness of the need of the common lay person to reach out and improve the situations of those around them
February 24th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
also, i see you finally found a place to use “yeti”
February 25th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Is that Brandon Zimmerman?
February 25th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Nah, it’s a totally original character that is in no way based on anyone named Ben we may know…
February 26th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I find that character with the green shirt in the last panel kind of sexy.
PS, if I’m going to be a priest, should I laugh at jokes about child labor camps?
February 28th, 2009 at 12:10 am
No Ben, you should be making the jokes about child labor camps!
March 1st, 2009 at 6:12 pm
You’ve got to be a firebrand!! Shock the parishoners into action!
March 1st, 2009 at 11:15 pm
what shirt is Fury boy wearing? that’s my question