In related news Adam, a legendary friend and regular commenter, just had himself a baby! Okay okay, he didn’t have the baby, but his wife did, and that’s totally deserving of a huge congratulations AND an Ominous Question! Let’s all celebrate with insanity!

To the Ominous 5,
 
        I’ve often thought that the human body is lacking in many respects, for example, it seems ridiculously easy to tear an ACL.  Are there any changes you would make to the human body?  I, for one, want third eyelids like a shark, closable nostrils like a seal, and the ability to somehow disengage my sense of hearing.  You know, kind of like how I can shut my eyes.
 
The Mathemagician

Calvin: His name is the Mathemagician, yet I see no mathemagic in this question. Unless…

Okay, taking the first letter in every word we get the acronym:

IOTTTHBIMILRFEISRETTAAATACYWMTTHBIFOWTELASCNLASATATSDMSOHYKKOLHICSME

While this is funny for many obvious reasons, it’s still not MATH. So, let’s assign a numerical value to each of the letters based on their placement in the alphabet:

9 15 20 20 20 8 2 9 13 9 12 18 6 5 9 19 18 5 20 20 1 1 1 20 1 3 25 23 13 20 20 8 2 9 6 15 23 20 5 12 1 19 3 14 12 1 19 1 20 1 20 19 4 13 19 15 8 25 11 11 15 12 8 9 3 19 13 5

Okay, so it looks like something one might feverishly conjure up on any given Wednesday, but…unless you add them all together…AHA! Oh Mathemagician, you shrewd devil! A Lost joke couched in a completely innocuous question! Kudos to you!

Oh, and if I could change something about the human body, I’d want gills. Could you imagine never having to worry about drowning? You could live you life free of the natural fear everyone has of the ocean! You could beat David Blaine at his own “magic”!

Victor: I’d totally go for echolocation or sonar, so I could live as Daredevil lives. I mean, how useless is sight? Am I right, folks? Also, what’s that thing that chameleons have? Um…that’s it! Tails. I’d want a tail.

Mick: I’d want bioluminescence, so I’d never need a night light. Plus, how cool would it be to go to a party and BE the strobe light?

Walt: I was watching the Discovery channel the other day and I saw a special about animals who can generate electricity. I’d want the ability to leash them all together and throw them at people.

Warren: Well, I use a lot of ink so I’d like the ability to make my own, like an octopus or squid. I’d also really like it if humans could go without sleep for extended periods of time. My employees could use those eight hours far more productively.

Well, there you have it! No one wants regeneration, strangely enough, but that might be because of the terrible curse that comes with it. In case you’re wondering, the curse is starring in movies opposite Liev Schreiber. I heard that dude’s a jerk. See you next time, and congratulations again to Adam and Rachel!

Tags: Babies, Lost, mutant powers, numerology, Ominous Questions, x-men

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