Paid In Full (Platemail)
It’s about that time of year again: time to file taxes and fantasize of a dystopia in which government levies are paid in blood. I mean, I guess that’s what this time of year is. But then again, that’s every time of year for me. Calendar dates mean nothing.
It’s also the time of year in which I have pretty much nothing to say about the strip, since I’ve never had to file taxes in the U.S. prior to this year. I’m not sure if that’s something that I should write online though, because I’m fairly certain that I’m on some kind of list already. But yeah, this whole “paying the government because they’ll lock you up if you don’t” thing is a little new to me. When you pay taxes overseas you see almost immediate results, though those results rarely manifest themselves in the form of delicious rebates. Usually you just get a written apology from the police and/or a verbal “promise” that they won’t follow you home and look through your garbage anymore.
Come to think of it, the national income tax in Japan is loosely translated to “most honorable bribe”. I guess it all makes sense now. I never saw the purpose of “revered staving of physical abuse” tax, though…
However, this year I did indeed have to file taxes, and as a lifetime speaker of the English language I think I can say, with confidence, that this thing doesn’t make a lick of sense and is probably written in Klingon. I had to fill out the same form three times, and that’s after being told that the first copy didn’t count. There was one portion that literally read: “write ‘1′ if you are married with children, and write ‘0′ if you are married without children”. I’m NEITHER! WHY DON’T WE HAVE PROVISIONS FOR THAT!?! So I’m sitting there thinking: “Well, now I know how I end up in prison.” I took the whole burden to a tax man, as I was told they’re called, and he seemed to be confused by the fact that I am single. He was also confused by my suggestion that they use more than two numbers to determine a person’s social status and then said I should get a return of one million denars, so I think I may have picked a bad tax man.
“Bad Tax Man”…that would be a great name for a vaguely folkish alterna-rock band.
- Chris
April 14th, 2009 at 10:20 am
I think a dystopia would be more fun that what we have now… less paperwork at least
April 14th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Awesome.
April 14th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
So you went for the Dave Barry joke? For shame!
April 14th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Links or it didn’t happen.
April 14th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Either that combatant has the shortest war mace ever, or the most awesome microphone on the face of the planet.
April 14th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
My professor was just talking about Thunderdome today. What a crazy random happenstance!
Great strip.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:13 am
Regarding Japan, taxes, and “most honourable bribe”: There was a Japanese comedy movie, Marusa no onna - A Taxing Woman, where the heroine was a lady who was a tax inspector. Strangely enough, the taxation was NOT the butt of the jokes. See http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093502/
Figure that it would be Japan that would made a tax comedy.
Meanwhile, there’s a Museum of Taxation that is located in Israel. It’s exhibits show that practically anything that exists has been taxes. (Even a circumcision tax!)
April 15th, 2009 at 8:36 am
I meant Chris went for the Dave Barry joke, and he’s used the “excellent band name” routine enough that it should be common knowledge, at least for someone (cough! Chris! cough!) who owns at least two of his books.
April 15th, 2009 at 11:22 am
If they didn’t tax the foreskins from circumcisions, how would they make tax agents? It makes perfect sense now.
April 15th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
@theifhgtinglexicographer re:mace or mic: Can’t it be both?
@Hope someone I’m twitter friends with actually declared yesterday thunderdome day too unrelated to our comic. weird.
@joanthandabolins Is it like a japenese stranger than fiction? cause that was a great tax comedy.
April 18th, 2009 at 1:03 am
Hahaha! I like this! This is my first time to your comic, but I love the art and the humor is quite up my alley.
April 18th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Love it. Especially Walt’s expression in the second panel.
But what does it say on the book in panel 3? “________ Fail Whale”?
April 18th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Moby Fail Whale
April 19th, 2009 at 3:05 am
There, are you happy now, I’ve gone and changed my name to something slightly more original. It was either this or Max Powers.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Muuuuch better!