First Ominous Baby, then Bahama Baby. Man, what is wrong with us?
I’ll tell you what: Babies.
Not the lowercase, googoo-gaga babies that you so often see on television and Wal-Mart circulars; no, I mean the Babies: the demiurges, the primal emanations of thoughtforms too old to recount. The beings which come into existence immediately after we determine our paths. They are the force against which we work, the antipodes that drive us to fight for what we want by being the opposite. The Babies sit upon thrones of fire and gold, judging our every move in an effort to discover its most equal yet opposite move. They have the power to build, yet feel only the urge to destroy. They are the Mind of Mencia to our Chappelle’s Show.
Bahama Baby is a bad guy according to Warren, but I’ll be honest: I truly support his philosophy. I work for the weekend, as most of you know. I hang as loose as I can, which is usually determined by fashion trends and state laws. I have in my closet no fewer than four Hawaiian shirts, and that’s after losing two in Japan and throwing up on one after a particularly bad seafood sandwich.
My point is that Warren’s foe is only really so in name, not intent. This battle might pit brother against brother, since I know for a fact that Victor has that Bahama Baby poster in his room. Stay tuned for what happens next!